Dec 31, 2008

Eagle Eye Movie Compendium




Rating: 5 out of 5

Eagle Eye is the 2008 Most Underrated Movie of the Year! Old hags like Roger Ebert things this movie is bland but I personally think this movie is epic. This movie has a lot of action scenes and a great story line. You should watch this movie. Basically if someone called me and told me to jump out a window, I would SO do it! Obviously there is a reason if someone tells me to jump out of a window so I would do it without hesitation, so if you ever want to tell me to do a command, call me: 614-804-6988.

Ok, so this Shia Lebowel actor...I don't really like him as an actor, but I guess he's better than Mark Wahlberg running around in The Happening and New Kids on the Block.

Speaking of boy bands, if I had to rate the best boyband of all time, it has to be LFO.

Basically this band is a hybrid of New Kids on the Block. For instance, they have this one song called Summer Girls and here are the lyrics:
New Kids on the Block had a bunch of hits, and Chinese food makes me sick!

I so agree with LFO, Chinese foods does make me sick! Yuck!

Dec 22, 2008

Hancock Movie Compendium



Movie Rating: 5 out of 5 Stars

This has got to be the best movie I have ever seen by Will Smith. I love the first 5 minutes of the movie because it shows the underprivileged people- Asians to be part of a block buster movie. Besides Jackie Chan and Jet Li, no other asians gets to be in movies!

Basically this movie revolves around the theme of "Transformation". Will Smith transforms from a drunk to a happy drunk in this movie. I can relate to this, I have transformed myself as you can see in the following pictures:


Transformation-
I would like to diverge my movie compendium capabilities and tell you my personal testimony of the theme transformation.

This summer in Las Vegas, after 12 weeks of free buffets at the Venetian, my aunts daily thanksgiving home cooking, not working out because its to hot in Las Vegas to go outside, and working a sit down job- my body went from 182 pounds to 199 pounds. I was physically not fit- my friend Sam told me I was moving awfully slow in racquetball, my mom herself called me "big", and my knees were hurting me.

I asked my roommate Chase and begged him so badly to let me workout with him. He said I can workout with him and he even told me he will guide and mentor me, under one condition. He told me at any circumstance I can't COMPLAIN at the gym or else he will stop working out with me immediately. This was an eye opener because I have finally realized I'm a complainer, and a complainer doesn't make it fun for me or the other person in any situation. I told him I will not complain ever, but will only put the extra effort. I have complain zero times so far.

This was a huge step because I've come to realize I am a big complainer when it comes to anything labor-like, which is basically everything. But throughout my transformation, I've decided to stop complaining when it comes to labor and in general. After putting less effort in complaining about how its hard to workout, and more in working out, I have become mentally and physically fit and quite possibly I am in the best shape of my life at this point.

The mornings where I wake up 530am to 7am to get myself in the gym, all the mornings I had to motivate myself that I can do it, all the aches and pain, the 1,260 reps of arm dips, the weekly 40 laps in the pool, the weekly 30 miles of biking, walking in 17 degree weather with pooring freezing rain to the gym, the 11 pull-ups I can do now compared to .5 pull-ups my first week, and the 2,340 reps of ab crunches was well worth it. In 13 weeks, I have lost 25.6 pounds going from 199 pounds to now 173.4 pounds.

There is no quick way to losing weight- all those ab lounges, pills, drinks, diet systems will not get you there. The only way to lose weight is this secret formula that I created that diet companies don't want you to know: Workout, eat a normal calorie intake, persistence, and faith. If you would like me to explain more about this, feel free to get a hold of me. I encourage you guys be fit for the kingdom and not be afraid to take the first step. The first step is always the hardest to take but its smooth sailing after that. I truly feel I got a second chance with my health. I know you guys can do it- if I, Chinese David can do it, I know you can do it.

Thank you so much Chase for holding my hand to the gym, I can now go to the gym with confidence and independence. Sam, thank you for playing racquetball, swimming, and running. Thank you unknown person named Steve at the Arc who also goes in 6am and motivates me to become more fit than you. And thank you God.

Oh Hancock- must watch!

Dec 20, 2008

Burn After Reading Movie Compendium




Rating: 5 out of 5 stars

Ok, my good friend MattyP recommended this movie to me. At first I was hesitant to watch this movie because I love watching movies on my own terms. But, I am a movie reviewer and I wanted to expanded my compendium for the benefit of the public.

If i had to sum up this movie, this has got to be Convuluted Movie of the Year! And I give this raved reviews for being out of the box. I strongly recommend this movie. Basically this movie revolves around 3 seperate stories and they eventually come together and the CIA is retarded.

Ok, Brad Pitt (Youtube Video os Brad Pitt in the movie: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AmErBDEiEAM )- I'm sorry man but you lost credibility in your acting abilities in this movie! You swoped so low and I know I can act better than you! You also look old- just like your ugly girlfriend, big lips Angelina Jolie

Dec 19, 2008

Tropic Thunder Movie Compendium (Guest Commentary from Dan)











5/5 Stars


So this movie suprised me. Obviously by the picture on the left, it's going to be awesome. There's a Kung-Fu Panda, Iron Man playing a black man, and Ben Stiller. What's not to love about that?? So the best part of this moive is Robert Downey Jr. playing an actor who gets way too into character and has a skin procedure done to make him black for his next movie. He acts like an African American man from Lousiana most of the movie, which makes it awesome. Jack Black plays a heroin addict, so himself, who is going through withdrawal and makes crazy promises and statements.

Another part of this movie that is awesome is Tom Cruise. That's right, he's in it too. He plays a crazy businessman who funds the movie "Topic Thunder" that the guys are filming. He has an awesome dance scene in the credits. (I'm pretty sure Scientologists aren't allowed to dance to Ludacris, so I don't know how he reconciles that)
Overall, I think Tropic Thunder is a great movie, as it showcases real drama like Tobey McGuire holding hands with Robert Downey Jr. I hope that Scientologists don't get too offended by the crazy Tom Cruise dance, I mean it's like he is back on Oprah dancing on a couch because he's crazy. Moral of the story is, Tom Cruise says the F-word about 200 times in this movie, so you know it's gotta be good.







Dec 13, 2008

Batman: The Dark Knight Movie Compendium

Rating: 3/5
You know, I have mix feelings with this movie in terms of ethics. This is a theory but I think this movie was gonna bomb so Heath Ledger had to pull a publicity stunt like fake dying to sell tickets. What you don't know is I actually went undercover and found him hidden alive and well in the mountains living off his millions with his undisclosed buddy:


I told you so, thank goodness I brought my camera with me that day or people think i'm lying or something. So i'm kinda mad that they had to pull this publicity stunt to sell tickets. I personally think this movie was maybe top 5 of all batmans. I personally like Batman and Robin- with Jim Carey as the Riddler. It was so cheesy!
Well the only props I have for this movie is Joker's sick laugh when he was falling off a building. Who laughs when you fall off a building to your death? Joker. Thats messed up and I can't believe people pay money to watch that nonsense. And people give me a hard time when I watch people body slam people off a cage in wrestling or me doing wrestling movies like the Swanton Bomb.

People are just as guilty!

Dec 7, 2008

You Don't Mess With the Zohan Movie Compendium

Movie Score: 5 out of 5 stars

This has got to be Adam Sandler's best movie without a doubt. Comedy of the year 2008. The first 15 minutes of the movie, Adam Sandler wears random Mariah Carey shirts....how awesome is that!

Well this movie basically is about Adam Sandler wanting to get out of the military life to be a hair stylist at Paul Mitchells. The fight scenes in this movie are so fake its funny.

The quote of the movie is : "It's nothing, its just Neosporin- I use it for cuts and gential sores"
Well, honestly- I bet people have used Neosporin for gentital sores. Like the people who can't afford Healthcare. You know what, I bet the company that makes Neosporin will make less money now that Obama is elected. Obama is for free healthcare as a nation....well if we get that free healthcare, there will be less demand for Neosporin due to people actually getting their gential warts checked.

Dec 3, 2008

God's Army- Movie Compendium

God's Army
Rating 4/5

Well a little about this movie. It was ranked number #21 best religious movies of all time. It was made on a $300K budget, and its about Missionaries within Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saint. I found this movie at Half Price Books and I figure since it says "God's Army" it should be epic. Little did I know it was on the LDS religion.

Religious views aside- I think it really gave me a perspective of what missionaries go through- rejections, attacks, slammed doors, slander, and among other things. What I notice is these missionaries turn the other cheek on these things and most importantly pray faithfully God would work on them and become Spiritually filled.

I found it interesting in this movie that a half reluctant missionary went on to commit 2 years of his life to do this, and this movie presented his coming of age in becoming a dedicated missionary.

Did I see any cult like example in this movie? No.

I just don't understand why people bash LDS so harshly and make fun of this or any other religion. There is a way to disagree with a religion and not make fun or bash it. Most of the time, I have heard examples of mockery of other religion outside one's religion. That's so disrespectful.

Am i Spiritually filled with the LDS religion? No, but I found this to be an interesting movie.

Epic Movie- Movie Compendium


Movie Rating: 5 out of 5 stars

Ok, I'll be honest- If i died and I can only give a friend one gift, I would give Epic Movie as my gift to them.

This movie is crazy, it dabbles into- X-Men, Willy Wonka, Superman, Divinci Code, Paris Hilton, and etc. Seriously, this movie gives the most bang for your buck- its like you can get 8 movies in one dvd.

When a movie title names itself "Epic Movie" YOU KNOW IT'S EPIC! Speaking of the word epic, I would like to share you a story revolving around epic:
So my friend Chase and I- we decided to go to the gas station after a long night of studying to get some Powerade to quench our thirst. Well, i decided to tie my shoe while the clerk that doesn't know how to tie a tie was ringing me up on the cash register. While I was adjusting my shoe- I saw a dollar on the ground. Without hesistation i KNEW what i was going to do with that dollar...buy a lottery ticket at the gas station. So I decided to buy a loterry ticket scratch off and I won $7. Thats Epic.

I'm so Epic that I can tie my shoe at a gas station and in 2 minutes leave with a drink and $7 extra dollars. I don't think people are epic like me, but I would like you to share your thoughts if you deem epic.

So basically this movie is like me- Epic. If you enjoy the presence of someone Epic like me, then you will enjoy the movie: Epic Movie